It happened, didn't it? Though I promised that I would be actively updating this blog for everyone, it looks like I failed doesn't it? Oh well, not much point wasting words on what happened, but I'm sorry for everyone following. I know it's rough trying to know what someone is doing but being shut in the dark. I was in similar circumstances last semester when I was following another Texas A&M student that went to KGU, which was why I was so adamant about updating regularly. (My internet access has been spotty at points, but I understand that is just an excuse.)
Anyways, a lot has happened. For starters, I have left my host family behind. It's not that I didn't want relations to work out between me and my host family, but it simply became too much living under their roof. That was on the fourth of this month. Due to a miscommunication between me and the international office at KGU, I wasn't able to properly say goodbye either. I had gotten my room together and my luggage at ready and I thought that I would be going with someone from the international office to get my luggage. When I went to the office to move into my new residence, it turned out they already had gotten my luggage and we wouldn't be stopping by there like I thought we would. Even worse, the person from KGU was told to take everything, even the Christmas presents I stashed away that my mother had gotten for them before the split was even a thought in my mind. It turned out that they would not be accepting any Christmas presents from me.
I don't think I've burned a bridge before in my life and it looks like I did, but this is something I've come to accept about the situation. I really tried to make things work out and make the best of it; however, they were the ones preventing relations from progressing. For a guest that they accepted into their home, they didn't treat me too well. I was told to mind what I said at times and think about the effect my words had on others, but they didn't even follow their own advice. They would often say whatever they would please about me, and a lot of very negative energy came from their direction. So after dealing with it for almost three months, I left. I was partially inspired by stories from other exchange students that had left their host families. Whenever asked about my host family life, my story would always start out as, "My host family is nice, *but*...", and I didn't pay enough attention to that key word. I had been trying to downplay their faults and live with the situation. Some things just aren't meant to be. I wish it had worked out. When I found out that I was going to be getting a host family in July, I was so happy and I was looking forward to all the memories and bonds I would be creating with them. That part is why I held out for as long as I did. Simply, what I had envisioned about host family life before the trip and what I ended up getting were very different. I have very fond memories of my previous host family from my five week study abroad in 2010, even though that was for just a week.
I've been much happier since then, so it was for the best. I'm now living in a dorm that is much closer to KGU. I'm so thankful to the staff at the KGU International Office for being able to arrange this because all the "official" KGU dorms were booked. As a result, I'm the only westerner living at this new dorm. There's a mix of Japanese, Koreans, and Chinese; high school students, university students, and businessmen. I've made multiple acquaintances and friends here, usually in the "Japanese style" bath. Just like a hot spring, you'd think you'd be uncomfortable being naked in front of everyone else especially when you are determinedly the outsider in the situation, but it's not that complicated. You just take off all your clothes and do your business, everyone else is doing the same. It's not as embarrassing as you'd think. In particular, I've made one really good friend after chatting in the bath. I thought it was just another acquaintance, but after I mentioned that my favorite J-Pop singer is Mizuki Nana we had quite a long chat. It turns out I met another really big anime fan like me and I now somewhat regularly chat with him about things.
It was with his help that I was able to find some visual novels for my computer, which has been a great deal of "off-the-clock" Japanese practice you could say. It's great because with the voices there is listening practice and with the Japanese subtitles there is reading practice. It's not a good substitute for real conversation practice as it really doesn't require any input on your part, but it's still exposure to Japanese. It's also one of the exit strategies I've been assembling for when I have to return home and suddenly not surrounded in the Japanese environment like I am now. I have been very troubled at the idea of losing speaking ability when I return home and lack the immersion aspect.
To an extent, I haven't exactly been helping matters here. My methodology for tackling a language class hasn't changed much here and while I've been thinking about good solutions to the issue, it's mainly an issue of not doing the extra work to learn a language for real. I'm still doing the minimal to get by in my Japanese language classes and while I do manage to get the returns for my grades, it doesn't gain me long-term speaking ability or retention. It doesn't help that I probably took on one elective too many in addition to my language courses. I needed 12 credit hours to be considered a full-time student at Texas A&M and I registered for 14, which wasn't so bad for a while. I had just been showing up to several of my classes in the beginning, but it's a lot of reading to do for each course. There are also these short papers that I knew all about from the syllabus, but I ignored them until December so I have really been caught up doing work for my electives.
The good news is that the next semester is the Winter Intensive semester. I'm having to take Introductory Korean in preparation for my South Korea fieldwork in March, but otherwise, it's just Japanese language classes. From Monday and Friday, there will be two Japanese classes everyday. I hoping I'll get my act together on really making sure that what I learn gets entrenched in long-term memory and not just in the short-term before the quiz, like I've been doing. I don't really know what is the best method for making sure I'm engaged with my language studies from day to day. Don't get me wrong, on some weeks, I'm pretty good about engaging myself, but it doesn't seem to last. Perhaps I'm just doing too much at once and then burning out over and over and over. I can't seem to find a happy middle ground. I guess some would argue that playing visual novels and reading manga are positive engaging ways for long-term, but doing those it doesn't feel like I'm studying and though it is an extra layer of immersion, how much am I really learning from doing that? I use my electronic dictionary when I'm playing visual novels in particular, and there's a lot of words I keep having to look up even though I've looked them up before. I need to figure it out quick before I reach the end of my trip and return to life in an English-speaking country so that this academic year doesn't go to waste.
The reason I've been able to write a very lengthy post like this (which was actually addressed in the title) is because it's a sort of Christmas/New Year's break right now. I don't have class again until the seventh of January I think. While this break might end up feeling short, after we take final exams and attend our final classes of the semester, there is an even longer break before the Winter Intensive semester. As a result, I'm feeling a bit relaxed at the moment. This previous week in particular was very difficult (due to my fault I know). I had two presentations and two papers. With the exception of one presentation, I had to bring up everything from nothing. Though I had an entire semester to be working on these things, I left them to right before they were due. I got away with it again I think, but I can't keep working like this. It is a very stressful way of going about things.
That's enough for now. I know it doesn't make up for all the silence since my previous post, but it's an update for now. I would like to promise that the next update will be soon, but you know how that turned out last time, haha.
