Pre-Travel Jitters

I want to go to Japan. There is no question about that; however, as I get ever closer to my depart time, part of my mind can't help think, "Just what am I getting myself into?" For the past few months, the issue with contacting the idea of going 6,800 miles away has always been, "Well, it's still a long ways a way. I'm just waiting for the moment and it's not really something to be worried about." Now, suddenly, I'm hit with all of it and all at once. The true scope and depth of it all, "I'm going 6,800 MILES AWAY to a country where my native language doesn't really mean ANYTHING!" It can be quite a rush thinking about it.

The majority of my mind is pretty pleased that everything is about to unfold, about 95% of it, "Of course! I get to get Japanese language practice like never before! I get to IMMERSE myself in it! How cool is that? Just imagine the improvements to my ability! I'll make so many new friends and have so many conversations in Japanese!" This is the viewpoint that I always go to when that 5% pipes up and says, "You're crazy! Going so far away out of the safety net you've created! What's wrong with staying in America?" I imagine this process is much like someone getting ready to get married. You know you want to and you've come to every reasonable conclusion that you should, but when you get down to it, a part of you goes, "I don't know..." Just like that, it is a bit of a big commitment coming down to the idea of leaving the familiarity of your own country.

While I have gone on a study abroad before, this one is different. The previous one was under the guidance of Texas A&M Faculty. There is a certain level of guidance here too, but it is more on your own. So, while I know what to expect when getting over there this time, I won't always have a faculty member nearby to help me along. This is frightening, but it's life. Like the child leaving the parent, I, too, must learn to adapt and live on my own without nearly as much guidance from faculty members. The previous study abroad was a trial and this one is the true test, one that I hope to succeed in with flying colors.

Essentially, all this really boils down is that the whole situation is like going to my first day of elementary school albeit on a much grander scale, but I can remember lying in my bed with butterflies going in my stomach back then just like now. I had a general sense of what was going to happen, but it was a bit of a big question mark. I have a general sense over what is going to happen over the next few days, but I can only imagine it, I won't know for sure until I live it.

I would say that I'm ready. I am more than ready to go on this study abroad; I've been waiting for it all summer after all. But still! I can't help but be a little nervous. Going into a new future and leaving the present and past behind is always scary after all. (And aside from philosophical thoughts about going away, I'm also very concerned with technical details like, "Will my luggage all make it there? Will I make my connecting flight? Will the weather hold up at all locations of the journey?")

Aside from the understandable nervousness, I will be there soon! Exciting! Finally time for things to happen, I've been tired of just sitting around in the waiting stage! Time to start!